a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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