so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
