the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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