My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
