literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
