How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Vodka?
Forever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
