I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
