so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
