You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
