Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
