Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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