Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
