i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
