I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
