Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
