I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
