how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
