Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We need to rekindle our bromance
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
