Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize