she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize