I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
