There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
