I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
