Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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