Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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