dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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