so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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