she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
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The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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