You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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