I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
