This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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