just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
