I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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