is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
