Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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