You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
