fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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