I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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