I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
