Non-Jews are for practice
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize