you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
