forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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