she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
