the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
