the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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