summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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