you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
