Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
