i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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