I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
