Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize