i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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