Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
