nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
