Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
