i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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