If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
