I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize