i permit you to call me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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