Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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